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I will be the first to tell you Hun... People will always try you! They will test to see how strong your boundaries REALLY are. They will try to see if you are actually serious about the feminine women you are becoming. They will even attempt to make you angry just to say " you see! I knew you weren’t feminine". And that's just insane and highly manipulative but it's the length people are willing to go just to see you fall. When I started my femininity journey, I was faced with some very REAL opposition. People who were the closest to me were the very one blocking my feminine elevation process. You would think that people would be happy to see you shine and heal but NO... some people what you to stay right where you are... at the bottom with them because the crabs in a basket mentally is real.
So, if someone decides to try you and not Jesus( I would highly recommend the latter because He's dope) what will you do? How would you respond in a strong way without tainting your feminine image and straight losing your cool? It took me years to learn this BUT since we are girls, I am and gracefully deciding to share this informations with you but sis, don't tell nobody else.., lol!
Directly below are my super top secret 5 ways that you can reaffirm and stand strong in your standards when your personal or relationship boundaries are being crossed. Side Note: If you haven’t did the feminine work of setting clear boundaries in your life, don't worry I will help you to do so. Click the link and download my Free guide "Butterfly Boundaries" and get started setting boundaries like a feminine boss. If you're past this process, continue reading Luv!
5 THINGS TO DO WHEN OTHERS CROSS YOUR FEMININE BOUNDARIES
1) KNOW WHAT YOUR LIMITS ARE AND WRITE THEM IN STONE
You are not a NO LIMIT SOLDIER Hun! There has to be a point in time when you say... enough is enough! And that time doesn’t have to be when you are mentally and emotionally exhausted from telling the same people why you have chosen to live a more easier life. Some people are bent on misunderstanding you. There are some people who will intentionally choose to play dumb and once you figure that out... play dumb right along with them. However, knowing who you are and where you stand is key to determining your limits. What are you willing to deal with and what you not willing to accept? What are you willing to tolerate in relationship and where do you say "STOP"? What are your non-negotiables? These are the questions that needed to taken seriously if we want to be loved and cherished in our relationship. Take a moment and get clear about your limits and boundaries. If you have some old boundaries in place, maybe you want to give them and review and or an upgrade.
2) HAVE A (CARE)FRONTATION WITH THEM IMMEDIATELY
As I stated before, people will always try you Hun. And when they do, you have to be ready to have a (CARE)FRONTATION (credit to Lisa Nicoles). What's a (care)frontation? It's kinda like a confrontation but in a caring and loving way. It's letting those people whom you care about know that they have offended you in some way and you are here and ready to make peace or produce a solution so that the infrastructure doesn’t happen again. It's Matthew 18:15-20 in full effect. Based on the response you get from your loved one will determine how the relationship will go moving forward. Have you ever had to have a (care)frontation before? How did it go?
3) DOCUMENT THE SITUATION + YOUR FEELINGS
As a writer and a heavy receipt gatherer, I am very good at documenting situations. Writing down the dates and the details of certain situations helps me to properly recall what's really happened. Going a step further and documenting how the situation made me feel is golden for when I am are ready to have that (care)frontation that I would rather not have. If you are anything like me, you can rarely remember what you did 2 hours ago. Nevertheless, having documentation helps you to be direct about what happened and how it made you feel. This is also helpful for those who are the manipulative type. You know, those who want to pretend that they are criticizing you out of love. Keep reading Hun!
4) RECONSIDER YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Hun, Let me tell you! I am a lover and not a fighter. I love sometimes to my own detriment but I have over the years that sometimes you have to let people go... even if it hurts. I am not telling you to let anyone go But if you are experiencing any type of pain in your relationships, you may want to reconsider your relationships. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
-Is this relationship adding to you or only taking from you?
-How long has this relationship not been working for you?
-How would your life change if this person was not in your life?
-Is this relationship worth saving? Why?
5) KNOW WHEN TO CUT THE TIES AND SEND THEM OFF WITH LOVE
This is where your healthy boundaries will work in your favor Hun! Sometime, when people continue to break through your boundaries the best thing to do is send them off with love. Kicking against the brick will only mess up your pedicure and that's not cute. We must be willing to let anything go that is not God's will for you. Pray and seek instruction from above but when it's causing you stress and pain... let them go and send them off with love.
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